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| So i'm back to eating normally, but well i'm not am i? I'm not thinking about it as much, but I'm not eating normally. I ate (no exxageration) about 5 bites of curry and rice today and i threw it up NOT ON PURPOSE around twenty minutes later. I threw up the other morning too, so i'm either ill or my bodys just rejecting food. I haven't got over that takeaway the other night yet though, I think I ate about three weeks worth of calories. I'm still glad I didn't purge though, even though my body seems to have taken it upon itself to anyway. I don't want to go back to them days. 
Will i eat tomorrow? | | |
| So I ate. Alot, like all day wednesday. I didn't eat yesterday til late, i had egg (77cals) and white bread (over 100cals), today I've just had take away though. I don't know where I'm going. I like the feeling of being empty, I like the feeling that I'm slowly dying inside. How fucked up is that? But I like my figure. And to be honest, I don't know what to do, as usual. I'm a failure, by design. I'm not purging, I don't want to eat, I don't want to starve. I like being curvy, I really do, and yeah sometimes I can convince myself I'm doing this to be thinner, and sometimes I really do want to be, but most day, everyday, I just don't know how else to deal. I don't think I'll eat tomorrow.. | | |
| i've consumed four hundred and fourty four calories in four days, this is fourty four more calories than i'd have liked but i'm roughly on track and i won't give in this time. No-ones noticed a thing yet, they'll just let me rot. Don't get me wrong, i have loving family and friends, this isn't why i continue to do this to myself. That, that is for me, but i'm surprised that people haven't starting noticing yet or at least they haven't raised their voices. I keep wondering how long I could last on a hundred calories per day before, before what? I'm found out? I faint? I die? I guess we'll have to wait and see. | | |
| 200ml of heinz soup (89cals) Slice of brown bread (55cals) 7g of raisins (20 cals) it's closer to 200 than 100 cals today yet i refuse to purge. 
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